I drove my car into a light post at 100 mph, but first I will tell you why.
I survived high school and got into college. Arts was the obvious major, I was always good at drawing so I took the test for graphic arts. Failed it by half a point in sculpture. while waiting for a second shot at it, I took anthropology
The school year went by without much to report until it was time to take the test again, but this time I was ready. I had been developing my sculpting skills but failed again by half a point in sculpture.
I took the drama class while I waited for my second chance at graphic arts and did pretty well. My professor, whom was a renowned critic told me I should apply for the performing arts school. I did and got in.
My first class was acting and the first person I met was the first person to break my heart.
We met on the first day and had lunch with a bunch of other people from the class. We were spending a lot of time together and after a few weeks we started dating.
The performing arts environment is quite toxic. There is a lot of partying and mixed emotions and everything that it involves. The excuse is that we are expressing ourselves in whatever way we want.
It is the perfect mix for disaster and this time it was no exception. She cheated on me so I cheated on her and we kept coming back for five years. It was the most toxic relationship you could imagine. And I suffered the consequences for twelve more years.
I was an emotional train wreck. I was hurt and got high all day everyday to not feel a thing and when I didn’t feel anything I got high to feel something. When the pain was greater than the effects of drugs, I drove my car into a light post at 100 mph.
That night I couldn’t take it anymore, nothing was filling the void and I didn’t want to live like that. I said my goodbyes, got in my car and drove until I hit the 100 mph mark in the speedometer. My arms and hands locked on the steering wheel and I aimed for the next light post.
Something knocked my hands at the last possible second, the car spun and I missed the post by no more than an inch.
The rest of the school year was shitty, I was doing great in all my classes but acting.
There were two professors that liked my work and both of them said that I should move to another school, otherwise I would not make it. I didn’t want to feel like a failure again and changing schools felt like it.
After a lot of thought, I applied at another performing arts school and I got in. I did great in all my classes, met my first wife, got a scholarship to study in the Netherlands and graduated top of my class. But I will tell you about it later.