It´s a match! I remember the one time that message was actually worth it. Will you swipe right tomorrow and give yourself a chance?
Imagine it´s Valentine´s day and you are home alone while your friends are out on a romantic dinner. You put your boots on and head out not to fall victim of the Hallmark holiday induced depression. But you end up at the mall…There´s pink everywhere, couples holding hands and a cinnamon / vanilla scent burning your nostrils.
You spot a sad and cute looking girl sitting by her self across the court, regularly checkingher mobile.
So you walk by her close enough to catch a glimpse of her phone when she is checking it.
She has that swipe app too!
You sit across from her three tables apart and pull out your mobile. With such dexterity that it comes out unblocked and the app already running.
After three swipes left, her picture comes up and you swipe right.
It´s a Match!
Now it´s time to ¨play it cool¨.
You look up and catch her looking at you, so you get up and walk past her as if she doesn´t exist and she turns her back on you.
What is wrong with you?
Technology just took care of the hard part for you!
Remember when there were no apps doing the work for you and you had to grow some &%&%$ to walk up to that person and say hello?
If you like some one, stop acting as if you don´t. Self preservation does not make you powerful. It keeps you from developing intimate connections with safe people.
Face your fear of relationships. That image that you are trying to portray of the big “alfa male” or “alfa woman”, is plain stupid.
This is not a game in which the “least intense” wins. Forget al pre-conceptions. Allow yourself to be ¨intense.¨
Life isn’t a video game, you won’t lose points if you say hello first. There is no losing points for sending a good morning text after the first date. Nor will you earn points for responding three hours later to it.
If you like someone, walk up to them and say something, most likely they are dying to do the same.
At the end of the day you both lose if you play it cool
What are you afraid of?
- The possibility of being happy?
- Of not being loved back?
- Of ¨losing¨your ¨freedom¨?
You might feel safe and “in control” keeping your feelings to your self, but fear will make you end up lonely.
Is it worth it? Wouldn’t you rather say how much you liked it when you effortlessly laughed together? Or express how comforting it was when she held your hand? Or how lovely that unexpected kiss was?
Why would you keep that to yourself, if it is worthless if you don’t share it?
You are not earning points by pretending to be the most self-sufficient and independent.
How much longer do you think you can keep this up?
Stop wasting everybody’s time, the longer you keep this up, the colder you become. The colder you are, the lonelier you get, the lonelier you get, the less gratifying your life becomes.
It´s a match! Type, send, open, respond, hold a conversation. Ask how their day went, show honest interest.
Allow yourself to be vulnerable.