Understand this! For better or for worse, you are the only essential person to yourself and anyone that harms you is an unnecessary load for your journey.
I’m sure you are familiar with the “unfriend” option in your social network. It is not uncommon for friendships and relationships to end this way because the common belief is that those who don’t exist in your social network don’t exist in your life.
It is a rather cold and impersonal way to break ties.
But if you “unfriend” people in the stupid virtual world, why don’t you do the same in real life? Stop carrying around baggage that trunks your personal growth.
And I’m not talking about knocking on doors telling people that they no longer have a place in your life. Not at all, it’s about prioritizing and not investing time and effort in those that don’t deserve it.
Let go of the people who don’t need you!
When you are no longer needed
It’s never easy to realize that you are no longer needed.
It hurts to know that you’ve lost that person’s respect, but if you stay in a selfish relationship that only serves the purposes of one of the parties involved, you lose your self-respect.
You need to differentiate between those who truly need and care about you, and those that long ago detached from your heart.
There are people who are there only when you are “paddling down stream” and things work out for them in some way. Or when they need a favor or something from you, or they need to be heard and “only you know how listen to them”. Needless to say, you gotta be careful with these people.
It is good to show your support, love and understanding to others, but as long as there is reciprocity.
It’s a matter of exchange
Friendships as any other type of human relationships are based on a sincere exchange of emotions, thoughts, support, etc. If you don’t feel any of these being reciprocally fulfilled, don’t be afraid to put a limit to it. Again, it’s not about dismissing that relationship. It’s about speaking out the truth about how you feel.
“I am not comfortable doing this or that, because it only benefits you.” “I’ve noticed that you only show up when you need something from me, I thinks I deserve more than that.” “It’s not fair that you ditch the boat when we need to paddle up-stream.“
Speak up, the other person may need to hear this and it may just be what is needed to save that relationship.
Matter to those who matter
Yes you’ve left a lot of people behind along the way, friends, husbands, wives, loved ones. And there will be many more that won’t visit you in the hospital or make it to your funeral.
Don’t worry about it, this is what life is all about, moving forward, learning from past experiences, saving and cherishing what really matters, what feels your heart.
You are going to give your life for something. What will it be? A person who doesn’t need you anymore, a career, a sport, a hobby, fame, social status, wealth, a failed marriage, other people’s opinions. None of these things have lasting significance.
Matter to those who matter!
Let go of the people who don’t need you
There will be painful times when you find out that you are no longer needed or important to someone you care about. It takes time to heal these wounds but you have to keep in mind that the most import person in your life is yourself.
If you tried to save a friendship or a relationship or marriage but it failed, it’s because that person no longer needed you. Don’t be afraid to let go of the people who don’t need you.
Have a lighter mind and a heavier heart to fully enjoy life.
Real life is not like your social network where you accumulate people. In real life the people who actually matter are few but are surely the best. If you don’t love or respect yourself you won’t be able to see and open the door to second chances.
Those who need you for real, will let you know in an honest way, without selfishness or blackmailing you. Because those who love you, respect you. And know how to establish that daily exchange where everyone wins and nobody looses.
If those who need you know how to be honest about it, you must reciprocate. Letting those around you know that you need them is not a sign of weakness. It is a powerful way of recognition, it lets them know that you don’t think of yourself as above them. It makes them feel useful, important and a key piece in your closest network of loved ones.
People over things
Us humans need many things to live: Money, food, clothes, shelter, leisure, freedom. But you must not forget that the most important things in this world are not “things” but people.
This is why it is so important to know how to recognize, take care of and nurture those that value you for who you are and not for what you may offer them. Let go of the people who don’t need you because they are an unnecessary load to your personal growth.