My first day of school

There was a lot going on in my short life at this time…

My parents were constantly moving and we had recently moved to this house, up until now it had been my mom, my sister and I. But now we had a new baby sister, it was time for me to go to school and to top it off, there were ghosts in this new house (I might tell you about this later if you comment asking for the story).

I also have few memories of the time we lived here, I remember the raspberry bush in the backyard. I remember my mom baking cookies for my sister and me.  I remember riding my bike into a ditch and not being able to get out. I remember washing my dad’s small Toyota pick up and I remember my first day of school.

It was my first day of school (kinder Garden), I was four or five maybe.

My mom, walked me to school, my sister and I holding hands and our younger sister in my mom’s arms. Little did I know what an impact this day made in my life.

School was from seven in the morning until eleven. We got there early. I was ready for this new adventure.

“I’ll pick you up when you get out” said my mom at the gate. And I ran to my classroom filled with excitement and expectations.

At eleven the bell rang and I ran to the gate. there was so much I had to tell my mom, I wanted to share my day with her.

But she wasn’t there…

An hour went by, all the other kids were gone. “Where is your mom?” asked my teacher, then another hour went by. There were no cellphones back then and we did not have a land line.

My teacher got worried when yet another hour went by. I sneaked away from my teacher and jumped the fence.

I had no idea how to get home. I walked uphill hoping that I would eventually  get home because our way to school had been downhill.

My mom forgot about me. My mind was racing a thousand miles an hour. “My own mother abandoned me, how could she?” All this thoughts invaded my head, I was devastated.

I remember crossing through a field, standing there unable to move, lost, scared, angry.

“Where am I?” I kept asking myself, I didn’t ask for help because I’d been told no to talk to strangers. I mustered the strength to keep going and finally got home.

I knocked on the door… No answer.

Not only had my mom abandoned me in school, my parents had moved while I was in school.

I sat down and cried. The sky was turning dark and closing in on me.

“Pascal”, “Pascal” I heard my mom call. I wiped the tears from my eyes and there she was, crying. I ran to her arms, she was trembling, scared, thinking she would never see me again.

She did forget about me because she got caught up tending to my two sisters.

It wasn’t until recently that I discovered all the “mommy issues” created in my life because of that event. How a peter pan syndrome evolved from there.

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