LOVE - HATE

MY LOVE – HATE RELATIONSHIP

LOVE - HATE

I have a love – hate relationship!

Yes, I have a love – hate relationship… with uncertainty. I love it because I´m constantly surprised, and I hate it because not being in control is terrifying.

Life is constantly making sure I don’t fall into a comfort zone, and does a pretty good job at it, bringing me at times to the point of desperation.

But, little by little, with every answered prayer, I’m learning to trust that everything will work out for the best. And just as there are two sides to every story, there are two aspects in life that we choose to focus on in every circumstance we face.

Yes, you guessed it, the positive and the negative!

Focusing on the negative

Letting your negative thoughts run wild and take control requires no effort, it´s like letting a snowball roll down hill, it gets bigger with every turn smashing everything in its way until it crashes.

If you ask me, I´d say that sucks.

Focusing on the positive

Requires a great deal of effort, it is challenging, and rewarding and you get a feeling of accomplishment when you come out victorious.

That´s why I prefer it.

When does my love – hate relationship kick in?

When s#!t hits the fan and everything happens at once.

We´ve all been there. Sometimes everything seems to happen at the same time, and it´s almost impossible not to feel overwhelmed…

But please don´t lose faith, instead of thinking about everything that could go wrong, think about everything that could go right.

I want to share this that happened to me last week, I think it shows exactly the reason for my love – hate relationship  and why it´s better to focus on the possibilities and not on the roadblocks.

Background:

Lately my lifetime dream has waken up stronger than ever and at the same time I’ve had this feeling that a cycle at my day job has come to an end, making me restless, and unhappy, so I began looking for a new day job that would either pay more or give me the tools to make a living while fulfilling that dream, even if it meant applying for a lower level position.

Bad news?

On Feb 22, I read this email from my boss that was sent to me on Feb 19:


Email from boss


 

Although I was looking for a new job, receiving such an email was certainly worrisome and did not look like good news. (The meeting was rescheduled for next Monday so I don´t know what it is about, but I will keep you posted.)

That same night, in the middle of an argument, I was overwhelmed and frustrated, I wanted to quit, not to get fired.

I began doubting myself, what if I did not find another job soon enough? I even began questioning my feelings about… and then I remembered what the apostle Paul said:

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

– Philippians 4:12

¨be content, not in a comfort zone¨

Rejection

Since this desire to live my dream has been so strong lately, I´ve been constantly planning, consulting, calculating, looking at all the angles I can think of, for the way to make it true, and like I said, even if it means applying for a lower position as long as it helps me get closer to my dream.

On Feb 22 I received this email in response to one of my applications.


rejection by overqualification email


I was getting frustrated! How could I not even land a position one level below my current one. I even told the hiring manager that I did not care about the title, all I wanted was the job, that´s how strongly I felt about this cycle coming to an end.

Doubt and negativity wanted to take over, I  could roll with it and crash or I could focus on a more positive outcome.

Possibilities

On the same day Feb 22, about one hour later, when I was calmer, I checked my personal email and I found this…


email from jeff


Seven months ago I came across this super cool position at a really nice startup and I was hired, but for reasons out of my control, I had to decline the offer at the last-minute. Seven months later they still wanted me.

It´s a matter of choice

We can choose what to focus on but in the end, no matter how much we plan, we will never have all the angles covered and no matter how much we try, the only thing we  have control over, is our attitude.

Planning is good, but we must leave room to improvise and control is also good, but to a certain degree (like controlling our temper when driving).

Watch this video about choice by Alan Watts (I´d love to take a class with this guy.)

Choose to focus on the positive, it attracts more of the good stuff.